I've been sick this whole week. And I'm not going to mince words about it- it's been crap. I'm feeling much better today, thanks to napping for four and a half hours yesterday afternoon, and following that up with another eight hours of sleep, so that rocks. Really, it rocks. I'm thanking my lucky starts right now because this has just been trying.
Mostly because, I haven't been able to work as well as I would like. I didn't work Monday at all, on Tuesday I showed up to work only to find that my class was canceled, and Wednesday and yesterday, my work was far more lacklustre than I will claim to be proud of. I like my job. I like to do a good job at it. I also like being paid. Thus, when I can't be there, or I am there and feel as if I'm not giving my best, I don't feel too good about it. I also haven't been working out, which means that all of those endorphins I've been getting all of these wonderful weeks of martial arts joy just weren't on the table this week. Endorphins make you happy, so I'm just lacking happy juice.
Speaking of happy juice, I also haven't been drinking coffee, which is my main addiction (and one of the main loves of my life) because it dries you out, and that's about the last thing I need right now. But, on top of being sick, since I haven't had my 2-4 cups of java a day, I'm going through caffeine withdrawal, which causes stomachaches, headaches, and generalized lame achiness. Sorry about the complaining- I mean it as a, "YAY!!! I'm getting better!!?!!" rather than a "Wow, these week bit. And sucked". On the bright side, I lost a lot of weight last week thanks to my lack of coffee and my want to not eat, well, anything. So, yay for going down a size! I bought some new stretchy jeans to celebrate. They were $11 at Forever 21, and they are black and shiny and everything I want in a pair of jeans that will probably break in 6 monthes, but will forever remind me how skinny I was at this point in history. If I was 21 years old I could have made that abstract pun funnier and less abstract, but, I'm not. I'm older than that. Maybe I'll keep them around for 21 years? There we go.
ANYWAY... When I'm feeling down, or like my throat is expanding from the inside and conspiring to choke my living lights out with fits of coughing terror, sadness, and nightmares involving mazes, batman, and attempting to rescue puppies (don't ask), I get this urge for escapism. These past few days, this has led me to watching more than half of an anime series called Le Chevalier D'Eon, which was good, playing through the entirety of Batman: Arkham Asylum, which might explain part of the aforementioned nightmare (which was unfortunately real, and really, don't ask), the last episode of Wolverine and the X-Men, reading information online about criminals, fantasy, swords, etc. I'm also planning to begin playing Skyrim tonight, and putting the first Game of Thrones book in my purse as my subway ride of the week. Because, I'm a champion. Basically, I confirmed that I'm a huge nerd and just dreamed about fantastical things existing.
Like these. Think about how cool (and potentially dangerous) life would be if we had these things.
1. Sword-Fighting (or any kind of dueling in general)
Why? Because, YES.
Also, because of all of the things I have ever wanted in my life, the winner is to look (and be) like this:
Anime Crazy (From Le Chevalier D'Eon)
And this....
Screenshot from Kill Bill
Oh, yes, and this one, because the movie was awful but this scene was fun...
Screenshot from Sucker Punch
To sum it up: I wish that there were more moments in my life in which I could be the sexy blonde badass with a sword, chopping things to bits for the good of everything, or possibly even just because I'm awesome. My life doesn't give me as many opportunities to be that girl as I'd like. At least I'm blond, and am studying Kali. I'm closer than many.
Now, if I'm going to have a sword, I need....
2. Monster-Like Things to Kill
Now, regrettably, I don't have any of these in real life. Or, maybe not so regrettably. Like everything else on this list, monsters are very dangerous, and are not necessarily something that anyone without a serious death-wish or hero complex/ hubris issue wants to run into on a daily basis. Except for people with exceptional skills, and the kind of luck that often goes along with them. Maybe I've read too many fantasy novels, played too many fantasy video games and watched too many fantasy movies, or, maybe, I can never get enough of any of them. I'm going with the latter. Anywho, here are some of my favourite, loveable, huggable abominations everyone loves to smash/ cut into tiny pieces/ obliterate with fire.
Dragon Age Wiki Darkspawn, from the Dragon Age Series
I-Offer Orcs, from The Lord of the Rings
Mass Effect Wiki The Collectors, from Mass Effect 2
Now that I've given you all nightmares about this (yay! I mean, sorry?) Let's move on to the related creatures...
3. Mythical Creatures that May or May Not Want to Hurt You (or Eat You for Breakfast)
So there are some mythical creatures that are just downright adorable. Possibly even cuddly. They are the antithesis of the abominations I described above, and we all love them because "awwww!!" They also make nifty mounts, familiars, and pets. Because, who lived through the 90's without considering how great life would be with a Pikachu? Or, never thought about having an animal friend like in every Disney film? Some other mythical creatures are scaly and dangerous, but so cool that we still love them. Because, they just rock. Like dragons.
Barking Madd Unicorn, from My Little Pony
Gurgi, from the Black Cauldron
Fan Pop The Legendary Birds from Pokemon
A Lightning High Dragon from Dragon Age Origins: Awakening
I know that there is a lot of Dragon Age on this list... sorry bout that! I like Dragon Age, and I've played many hours of my life into it, so I find it inspiring. The acting is great, the story is delightful, and woo! You can be a mage and blow things up with fire. Sounds good to me.
4. Castles
Ok, so, here is one that definitely exists in real life. Not that blonde badasses don't, they do, but maybe not in the same way they are often portrayed in popular culture, and by that I mean in anime, Quentin Tarantino movies, and movies that wish they were Quentin Tarantino movies. Here are some photos I've snapped of castles and palaces in my time, and frankly, I couldn't even imagine living in one of these. It sounds too decadent and all-around mind-blowingly incredible. But, a girl can dream. And dream, I do.
To sum it up: I want to be a justice-dishing blonde swordswoman who fights humanoid creatures of darkness with the assistance of my adorable animal familiar and my trusty unicorn steed, vanquishes dragons, and operates out of a gorgeous castle or palace somewhere in Europe. Did I mention that in this fantasy I'm also magical? Because I am. For the record.
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