The Brooklyn Adventurer: 599.......

So, um, this is my 599th post. I don't know whether to be excited that I've been at this so long, because god knows, sticking to a habit, especially one that doesn't make you any money is a hard and impressive thing to do, or to laugh at myself because I've apparently had enough things to say to fill 599 blog posts. And, that would label me a pretty ridiculous narcissist. Or, someone who has way too much time on their hands. Probably, though, option C- all of the above. Both.

But, you know what? Despite thinking, "Oh, wow, I... I've been doing this for a while now... I should, um, yeah... maybe do things that well, aren't this..." on occasion, I'm thrilled. I've written a whole bunch of nifty articles, taken many photographs that I am incredibly proud of, and possibly, entertained you.

You guys are the reason I do this. Thanks for reading my stuff. It's rather cool that you do. Cool like ice. Covered in adorable, yet surprisingly scary polar bears, who aren't drinking coke, because, Coca-cola, bears don't drink coke you sillies, and who are certainly not fraternizing with penguins, because, duh, penguins don't like polar bears. They are too cool. Unlike every bird other than them, mostly, they are too hip to fly. Flying was so last season. Psscht.

Well, back to 599. What a cool number. For half a second, I thought this was the big six-zero-zero, and I planned some sort of bizarre 300 times two thing, where I was going to photoshop my face onto Leonidas, who, was that king who wore no shirt in 300. Oh, wait. No one wore a shirt in 300. What an amazing movie! That would have been a weird post. I didn't seriously contemplate this, I'm just joking. Or, maybe I did. That's up to your imagination. I'm not making that image. Or posting it. Because it's not saved on my desktop at work. It isn't. Stop looking at me like that. Today isn't 600. Today is 599- the post before 600, which will land whenever I happen to write my next post. Considering that I don't know what I want to write about next, the chances of you having the magical, mystical knowledge of when Travel and Toile shall update again is actually a moderately terrifying concept. Your future-telling skills are impressive. Snaps for you!

I'm going to be perfectly honest for a moment. I have no idea what I'm writing about, or where I'm going here. There was no planning. This is all stream of consciousness. Simply put- 599 was inspiring for reasons unknown, and the need was felt to post something.

OH LOOK. A GNOME.

Thus, let us discuss kitschy stuff. In particular, shall we say that this discussion is about lawn ornaments? Yes. Why not. Lawn ornaments. They're weird. They are bizarre. They are about as kitschy as kitschy can be. Lawn ornamentations range from moderately tasteful to supremely tacky. Freeport, NY, you know, that place we went for Danny's birthday, had an impressive number of them.

Like this one:

What is even... it's a bird. A heron? Pelican? A helican? Perhaps? Also, it's missing a wing. Not that the one still attached looks as if it would do much good- it's flipped around the wrong way. Someone kimora-ed this poor thing into oblivion of one-winged twisty terror. Although, I'm not utterly certain it's a poor thing. Those eyes make me think demon. This would also explain the wing flip, because, well, I have seen The Exorcist, and this just makes sense. Yes.

I'd like to title this one "Voyeurs". Porquoi? Look at the Rabbit. And the Turtle. Oh, right. And, the dog. They all want to get on that mosaic-y, kissy, childy goodness. Stone cold awesome right here. Except for the turtle out-of-frame on the left. That one shall henceforth be named Santora-turtle, because he is opposed to public displays of affection, and for some reason, this makes me think of Rick Santorum... because he hates fun.