I've been contemplating writing this article for a long time, and have held off for a number of reasons, namely, that I don't want you to think I'm psychotic. I'm not. Psychotic, I mean. I generally have little to no desire to make anyone unhappy, let alone ruin their day, destroy their life, or murder them. I actually take some manner of pride in the fact that I have never desired to literally kill someone. Apparently my Sunday School education as a child, and it was thorough, we went to church basically every week through my entire childhood career, taught me something about basic morality. Or, maybe it was TV, my parents, peers and teachers. Something went right there, and I don't spend my days plotting the demise of others.
But, I'm kind of impressed by fictional women who do just that.
Why? I'm not sure. Maybe it's because a hefty percentage of the strong women portrayed in TV, film, literature, and theater are evil. Is it their strength that makes them evil, or is it in the final cracking of sanity that creates their new nefarious tendencies that allows strength to develop unhindered? Once again, I'm unsure. But, when I was a kid, and I watched Disney movies, I liked the female villains. They were scary. They had minions. They weren't afraid of the prince coming to save the princess. They were everything I wanted to be, except for the evil part.
When I watched "The Wizard of Oz," I felt bad for the witch. Dorothy killed her sister. She dropped a house on her. Holy cow. If someone dropped a house on my sister, Julianna, damn straight I'd be after their sorry little gingham-wearing butt. And, to make matters worse, Dorothy also stole, yes, stole, the poor, dead, Wicked Witch of the East's shoes, which are magical, so they tell us, and were most likely one of the deceased's most precious possessions. How do we infer this? When the Wicked Witch of the West shows up, after gasping in horror at the sight of her sibling's crushed cadaver, she almost immediately asks where in tarnation her shoes are. It's the first material item she considers after the moment of shock. These shoes must be important. They belonged to her sister. They are on the feet of the murderous little girl who killed her. Yeah, I'd send some flying monkeys after the brat too. Think about it. Wouldn't you?
But, nope! Witchy is evil. Melt her. Gotta teach some morals to the kiddies, everyone. Evil fails. And wanting the most precious possession of your sibling's from the kid who murdered her is straight-up evil. If you happen to have armed forces, you shouldn't use them to help you. You shouldn't make this person's life miserable. You should let her alone, to go on her merry way. Because, she will kill you if you chase her. Also, because she is a child and you are a witch. Screw you, witch. Screw you.
I, at my ripe age of like four years old or something, sympathized with the witch. There was at least one occasion on which I cried when the witch died, and said to one of my parents, "She wasn't evil! She was misunderstood". Keep in mind, I was about four. I wasn't a rocket scientist, or some college-educated person looking for some meaning. I was a tiny kid, and I noticed this, and identified with it. I was told by one of my parents, "No, she's evil". Sorry, mom and dad, I don't remember which one of you said this. It was a long time ago. I was four. At the time, I didn't buy it. I still don't. Send out the flying monkeys!
Seriously, though, guys... she was an enfranchised woman. She had power. She had flunkies. She had a freaking awesome castle. What not-evil major female character has all of those things? Think about it. Princess Leia seemed really cool as a kid because she fired a gun a couple of times by the end of "Return of the Jedi," but even she didn't have a castle any more. Or flunkies. I mean, I guess you could say that she had ewoks, but they were a little more fluffy and cute than your standard shock troop. Dorothy? She had a scarecrow... and a robot guy... and a lion who was too cowardly to be of much help until the final scene. Psscht. Also, she was super-young, and super-oblivious. Her battle tactics reeked of naivete. Ariel, in "The Little Mermaid?" Please. She sang pretty, she looked pretty, she was young, in love, and pretty. She also gave up her power as a popstar and a princess, which I'm not even certain if she had, to chase after a man who didn't know she existed. Womp womp. Ursula was a far superior role model. Wonder Woman, from the old TV show, was pretty powerful and cool, but it was kind of hokey and she wore so little clothing that even as a kid I understood that she was being viewed not just as a superhero, but as a sex object. Jasmine from "Aladdin" seemed kind of cool, because she helped out sometimes. But, that film didn't have another stronger woman to contend with. Jafar was neat, yeah, but he wasn't a lady. As a lady, I like seeing people of my sex do things that are cool.
Now, more powerful women are being written, and it's exciting. One of the reasons I love Bioware games like it's my job is that you can play a strong female hero in all of them. And, as much as I love being a sexy hero in battle armor, aka armorized underwear, as Marvel, DC, and a lot of other things want us to believe is somehow practical for a woman to wear in a fight, in those games, I can wear armor. Real armor. I can carry a giant sword, and have the strength to swing it. I'm in a commander uniform, with stars, and no cleavage when I want to be. I can also wear something tiny and sexy if I prefer. It's up to me. I'm still killing people, but I'm not looked at as the villain. My character is as sexualized as I want her to be. This is empowering, and once again, exciting. I can be powerful, attractive, and looked at by the men in the game as more than a piece of meat.
Which is exactly how I'd like to be looked at in real life. I'd like to be pretty, but taken seriously. Sexy, but not just sexy. Strong, though I am small. Powerful, though I am a woman. No. Powerful and a woman. No. A powerful human being.
Preferably, a powerful human being who isn't knifed by some punk Prince Charming or kid from Kansas.
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