Still Alive, for Now

Oh.  Hey there!  Uh... yeah.  It's been a long time.  Quite a few weeks now.  I mean, since my last post.  

I'm alive.  I promise.  Stressed as sh*t, but still alive.  Yeah, I just used an asterisk there.  That happened.

So, um, yes.  Nope.  I haven't posted on here in awhile.  It's been a few weeks.  I already said that didn't I?  

Crap.  

I'm still alive here!  For now.

Ok, anyways.  I'm posting now.  Look at me!  I AM SO BLOGGING RIGHT NOW.  

BLOG.  BLOG BLOG BLOG.

BLOG.

BLOG BLOG.

... BLOG.

Chill out, self.  Calm down.

Sorry about that little outburst there everyone, but it's pretty indicative of my own mental state at the moment.  Things have been downright flipping ridiculous in my neck of the woods.  Namely- I'm stressed out.  

Remember when I said that I was going to be doing all of the things with all of my time, in that post a little while back?  It was titled "Responsibility Champion".  Well, I've been downright responsible, and have been accomplishing all of the things.  Every one of them.  Each and every thing that I've set out to do.  

All of the things.  

^^ surprisingly accurate depiction of me courtesy of Hyperbole and a Half^^

However, I didn't really take any breaks during this process to do some of the things that chill me out like, for example, photography, or, writing on this blog.  I've been neglecting this, and yet somehow still managing to feel as if I have some responsibility to maintain it because I've learned that people actually read it, including my family members (Hi mom!  Hi grammy!).  

Thus, I've been driving myself simply bananas.  I need a break.  And, the past two days, I've gotten one, thanks to an unexpected bout of food poisoning.  So, though I have not been as relaxed as I would have hoped due to the vomiting and constant stomach gargling, shaking, and general uncomfortable-ness(?), I've been able to sit on my butt and do very little other than live in the now and chill out to the best of my ability.  

By this, I mean that I've finally had a chance to power through some of Mass Effect 3.  WOW.  It's so good.  Guys, guys, guys.... it's so good.  Girls too.  Video games have some of the the best storytelling in the storytelling industry today, and some of the best acting too.  Mass Effect 3 has made me bawl, that's right, full-on bawl, twice.  Not once, twice.  I was crying like an adult man.  I know that people generally say that they were weeping like a baby, but babies just don't understand pain accutely enough to describe how I was bawling.  I was moaning, weeping, and screaming inside like a man who has worked his whole life to provide for his family, and then ended up at a breaking point in a way that only could be written by Arthur Miller.  I was crying like Daniel Day-Lewis's John Proctor in the film version of "The Crucible".  

There was that much torment.  Really.  You think I'm kidding, and unfortunately, I was alone, so I have no witnesses.  I wish I was joking.  Watching one of my friends take the fall to save a nation whilst singing Gilbert and Sullivan was one of the most heroic and incredible things I have ever seen an individual do.  

I want to not write this because of the spoiler factor, but really, I don't think that anyone who reads this is still playing ME3.  You either don't know what the frap I'm talking about, or you've finished this game and are potentially a little surprised and/ or annoyed by my confession that I'm a mere 23 hours into the drama.  This scientist salarian was a bamfy, awesome, principled dude, and I was proud to know him.  It had to be him, and he knew it.  Someone else might have gotten it wrong... 

Oh god, I'm crying again.  Ahhhh.  Just play it.  Buy yourself a goshdarned X-Box and play some Mass Effect.  I'm a strong lady, and I'm a puddle of mush on the floor at the moment just reliving the trauma of watching this fictional character bite it.  Something has gone terribly right here.

This game has also provided me with some hilariously awesome screenshots, like this deliciously inappropriate one right here-

(Sorry, mom.  Don't judge...)

Yes, my Femshep is dating Garrus.  Because, duh.

I'm getting my break.  It's happening in bits and pieces.  Yoga school starts up super-full-time on Saturday, which will be many hours, but should be relaxing, since it is, well, yoga.

Or, maybe not. In any case, it's going to be fun.

This post is kind of where this blog is going, kids.  I'm still going to show lots of photographs.  I like taking them, and I like sharing them.  Most importantly, I have some new ones now!  Woo!  Actual stuff to share!  But, I'm not going to pretend I'm not a big old weird nerd.  Fashion is great, and creamy yummy loveliness happy dolphin puppy rainbow flower unicorn happiness pile, but goshdarnit, I like action and most of my friends are dudes.  I wear all black most of the time.  Let's get real.  What do I think is pretty?  Cemeteries.    What do I do in my spare time?  Fight people.  

Because I've come to the wonderful conclusion that yes, becoming an adult is about growing up.  You have to pay your bills and wash your clothes and dishes and not spend money on ridiculous things otherwise your life will explode.  You have to show up to work.  But, being an adult is also about doing some of the crazy and ridiculous stuff you wanted to do when you are a kid, because your money and time are your own, and nothing is holding you back.  Well, until you have kids.  I don't want any though, so, uh...

Yep.  There we go.  That's the plan for the next ten years.  Be that.  Actually not kidding.  

Welcome to Travel and Toile version... whatever.

Thanks for all ya do, readers!

~Emily