It's February. It's cold. Granted, this winter has been far less cold than usual- temperatures have been in the low forties (farenheit) almost every day, but at night, they tend to dip down into the twenties. In my book, forty is still pretty cold, so, I say, it's cold, because, well, it is. Brr. Because of this, it is harder to want to work out in winter, and easier to eat copious amounts of unhealthy food and drink all of the coffee in the world. I've been surprisingly good at the working-out bit, and by that I mean that I've been working out almost every day. Concerning eating everything- well, not too shabby on that one either. I've eaten some things. Cookies are tasty. But, I haven't eaten everything. Restraint has been shown. So, that's cool. Coffee is my weak point, clearly, and I might be sipping some right now. What of it? Coffee rocks my socks.
Check out this gem of a photo... and now, imagine that it's me-
Yep, that's pretty accurate. Though, something is desperately wrong with that coffee. The intention is very correct, though.
So, we've established that it's cold, and the natural reaction, though I've been fighting it tooth-and-nail, whatever that means, is to not move around, but cocoon in a nest of blankets while shoving cookies and coffee down your throat and crying softly. Maybe not crying softly, but seasonal depression is a thing.
I googled depression... and this image came up. Inappropriate? Maybe. Hilarious? Yes.
Beyond the freezing bit though, you know what winter is? Winter is dark. Dark as shit. It is so dark. All of the dark. It was at its worst near the solstice (December 21 guys), and now it's better. It got a little better. However, it got better like a festering wound gets better. It may not be bleeding and pussing any more, but that scar is still pretty ugly. Around here, night falls just after 5pm officially, but the sky seems a bit dim at least a half an hour before that. Tis dark, kiddos. Nighttime can be depressing, but it can also be magical.
I was walking home from the subway the other night, and found myself standing still for a minute, just in awe of how beautiful the darkness was. Then, I had to run away because it turned out that I had stopped in the middle of the street and a car was coming. After almost getting hit, and scrambling my butt onto the sidewalk, I stopped again, heart racing a little faster, which somehow only seemed to enhance the experience, or, perhaps, prove my own insanity. Choose your own adventure here. Everywhere.
I'm singing some kind of "Brooklyn Adventure" theme song in my head right now. It's a wonderful, 90's-tastic blend of the Skip-It jingle, and the Transformers theme song. With a little bit of Dragon Ball Z thrown in.
Anyway, the wind danced in spirals, nipping at my exposed cheeks and fingertips. Though it was nearly midnight, the street shone, partially with the dim light of the lamps, but mostly with the glow of the moon, which was full. I felt full as well- brimming with some kind of energy, some source of calm, or power that I can't quite explain. That sensation of expanding you get sometimes, where you take up more space than your physical boundaries, and the air around you is saturated with your atoms. At least, it seems that way. When you can feel your blood coursing through your veins, and hear your own heart beating, and the world around you seems to slow, like that moment in the Matrix, or the ending sequence in Queen of the Damned. That sense that this world is immortal, even if maybe you aren't. That something, or most things, are larger and more important than you, but that you are vital, vibrant, and alive. It's exhilarating.
Kind of like this.
I hope that you know what I'm referencing- honestly, I wish that everyone does, but I know that they don't. You may have never experienced this. Try it sometime. Slow yourself down. Go out into the night sky and allow yourself to embrace it, instead of letting it depress you, or scare you.
I've never sounded like more of a goth kid than I do right now. I'm a goth kid. Did you see the new layout? Nighttime inspires me. Sunshine does as well, let's get this straight, but nighttime- there's something mysterious, unknown, and exciting, perhaps even enthralling about what we cannot see, and the majesty, the epic proportion of the space we can gaze into when the sun isn't blocking our view. The universe. The night.
